I remember the day that Shaila and Saikat invited us to their home and Shaila made a quick preparation of a dinner. Redwan, Ahsan, Shimul, Saad, Ashik attended that evening, if i am not missing anyone. Ahsan asked me what will i be doing in upcoming months?
I had joined the the teaching job then and seriously trying to find something for me, that suits me, and i could concentrate. I answered: I am planning....Its harder for me to write poems than to write computer programs, so i would not leave computer programming....
What was i pretending to tell him? In that moment it was a kind of modesty seemingly. was it? Meandering to the pride that i bring with me? huh!!! Even i dont know a single definition and living. I have a job, a family, few friends, and a country... i can't define me.
Read this article if you have any interest on poetry. Robert pinsky article from Slate.
I quote a bit from Yeats :
THE FASCINATION OF WHAT'S DIFFICULT
The fascination of what's difficult
Has dried the sap out of my veins, and rent
Spontaneous joy and natural content
Out of my heart. There's something ails our colt
That must, as if it had not holy blood,
Nor on Olympus leaped from cloud to cloud,
Shiver under the lash, strain, sweat and jolt
As though it dragged road-metal. My curse on plays
That have to be set up in fifty ways,
On the day's war with every knave and dolt,
Theatre business, management of men.
I swear before the dawn comes round again
I'll find the stable and pull out the bolt.